Titles for books I have no intention of writing


Why did My Tuxedo Vest Need to Match the Color of My Date's Prom Dress?

And Other Questions I didn't Know to Ask in High School


Teetering on the Edge

Or Why My Life isn't that Bad


Why Doesn't Shuffle Randomize Going Backwards?

And 100 Other Questions that won't Pay the Bills, Mow the Lawn, or Fix the Furnace, but I Still Think About Anyway.


Why do I Have to Put on Shoes When Company Comes to MY House?

Or the True Meaning of Thanksgiving in America


Why can't You Eat the Banana Strings

And Other Questions my Parents Never Answered


Who the Fuck says Whilst?

(and other things that piss me of)


Is that toothpaste in your pocket or are
[quieter] you, uhm (er) happy
[meekly] to see me? (uhl)

And Other "jokes" I've Told that No One Heard or Failed to Acknowledge


Who Cleans the Toilets on a Submarine?

And One Hand Twenty Three Other Questions Answered

Bread (or why i am a world of worry)

The Flood

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