Titles for books I have no intention of writing
Why did My Tuxedo Vest Need to Match the Color of My Date's Prom Dress?
And Other Questions I didn't Know to Ask in High School
Teetering on the Edge
Or Why My Life isn't that Bad
Why Doesn't Shuffle Randomize Going Backwards?
And 100 Other Questions that won't Pay the Bills, Mow the Lawn, or Fix the Furnace, but I Still Think About Anyway.
Why do I Have to Put on Shoes When Company Comes to MY House?
Or the True Meaning of Thanksgiving in America
Why can't You Eat the Banana Strings
And Other Questions my Parents Never Answered
Who the Fuck says Whilst?
(and other things that piss me of)
Is that toothpaste in your pocket or are
[quieter] you, uhm (er) happy
[meekly] to see me? (uhl)
And Other "jokes" I've Told that
No One Heard or Failed to Acknowledge
Who Cleans the Toilets on a Submarine?
And One Hand Twenty Three Other Questions Answered