Titles for books I have no intention of writing

 

Why did My Tuxedo Vest Need to Match the Color of My Date's Prom Dress?

And Other Questions I didn't Know to Ask in High School

 

Teetering on the Edge

Or Why My Life isn't that Bad

 

Why Doesn't Shuffle Randomize Going Backwards?

And 100 Other Questions that won't Pay the Bills, Mow the Lawn, or Fix the Furnace, but I Still Think About Anyway.

 

Why do I Have to Put on Shoes When Company Comes to MY House?

Or the True Meaning of Thanksgiving in America

 

Why can't You Eat the Banana Strings

And Other Questions my Parents Never Answered

 

Who the Fuck says Whilst?

(and other things that piss me of)

 

Is that toothpaste in your pocket or are
[quieter] you, uhm (er) happy
[meekly] to see me? (uhl)

And Other "jokes" I've Told that No One Heard or Failed to Acknowledge

 

Who Cleans the Toilets on a Submarine?

And One Hand Twenty Three Other Questions Answered

Bread (or why i am a world of worry)

The Flood

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