Public Restroom Rules and Observations

Public restrooms come in all shapes and sizes. I've put in a lot of OT (observation time) checking out the way they work. In men's restrooms mostly. I've spent much less time in women's restrooms, so I don't know a whole lot about them - women can fill in their own lines about sanitary dispensers or hovering.

Why is there always a puddle of urine in front of the urinal?

This is bad enough if you're wearing shoes, but if you have flip-flops or sandals on then you're splashing through puddles just like Gene Kelly. Except there's no singing and the puddles are yellow because urine is splashing on you.

Why jam 1200 paper towels into a 1000 paper towel holder?

You try to pull out a towel or two you always end up with a brick of 15. You can't dry you're hands with the paper brick and you're helping to kill the environment just a little more.

How about some background noise in the bathroom?

Because NO ONE wants to hear any bodily solids exiting someone else's body.

No talking please.

You do your business. I'll do mine. Let's save the idle chit chat for outside the bathroom when neither of us are holding our dicks.

The dance after using the urinal?

A shake or two is fine - nobody wants that cold wet spot in the underwear. But the hop and wiggle dance? I don't get it, but I wish it would go away.

Stop abusing the soap dispenser.

Some people have to slam the soap dispenser and violently / quickly wash their hands. Are you in a giant hurry? Taking out your frustrations on the poor helpless bathroom fixtures? Calm down and wash your hands like everyone else.

Urinals full and moving to the stalls?

Close the door. I know there's no door on a urinal, but there is on a stall. It's a little odd to see inside a stall with someone there.

What's up with dudes putting both hands on their hips when they pee?

Is it some sort of superman thing? Are they laughing as Giant Urine Spewing Man rains down salty death upon the inhabitants of urinal cake town? I'm not sure. Either way I'd care to not see it in the bathroom.

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