Subjects you I don't want to talk to YOU about:
It's expensive. I get it.
Please don't tell me about who's hot, who you want to sleep with, or, (and I shudder at the thought of this on so many levels), the sexual habits of your children.
I can not describe to you how little I want to know about your bathroom habits. I don't want to hear about what your dinner did to you later on. I want to hear no jokes about beans or Mexican food and how they relate to your digestive system.
Feel that burning desire to share? Go find Uncle Rico, get that time machine working, travel back to high school, and bug some idiot there about it.
Dogs are not people. They're dogs.
What's that? It was only 68 degrees in Jamaica? Well let me tell you that you've come to the right person for sympathy. Let me hear more about the poor service at the beach side restaurant or how they ran out of crab legs at the midnight buffet. Ugh
I don't care. In fact I find it annoying. And this goes for all those damn magazine or tv show lists of the best albums or artists or bands. Shut up. I'll listen to my music, you listen to yours. Quietly.
It's like some tired joke that people keep repeating. Stop it, I can't take it anymore.
Unless you're super ass rich and work on wall street or have a solid gold phone don't talk to me about money investment. I don't want your advice.
I don't care what you think holds a marriage together. I don't want your thoughts on how to keep the spark alive. No, Mr. Single Guy, I don't want to hear your thoughts on what women really want. Write a book and quit talking to me.
Even if I agree with you I don't want to hear it. I don't care about your plan to end poverty in twenty years. I don't care about your voting habits or what you think about the president/governor/mayor. I don't care and I don't want to hear it. Go run for office somewhere if you've got it all figured out. Or just run away from me.
Don't religion me, I won't religion you.
Only eat half your dinner? Only steak? Only low fat foods? 1200 calories? Ten super small meals a day? What? What's that?
I DON'T CARE!
No one cares about your diet. No one no one no one. I can't stress this enough. Here's a tip to lose weight: exercise and eat a balanced diet. Not working? exercise more. Still not working? See a doctor. And tell them about your fifteen diets.